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Control Your Anger… Before It Controls You
No matter what you do, you will never be able to fully repair broken things or mend shattered hearts as if nothing ever happened.
Managing Anger
To learn the right and effective way to deal with anger, you must first understand how anger begins and the stages it goes through.
The Stages of Anger
Stage One: Triggering
A trigger is the factor that ignites anger within you. It can be an external factor, such as other people or an incident you experience, or an internal factor, like overthinking negative thoughts.
If you can take control and manage your reaction at this stage, you can extinguish the spark of anger. However, if you give in, the anger will escalate, leading you to the next stage.
Stage Two: Escalation
This is where the crisis begins. Anger starts to explode, and things slip out of your control. At this stage, you act according to your unconscious mind, which drives you to launch verbal or physical attacks to defend yourself or retaliate against perceived harm. You may insult, humiliate, or even physically harm someone, or break valuable objects. In this state, you lose control over your conscious mind due to your surrender to anger.
Stage Three: Regret
After releasing your anger in such a negative way, you will begin to feel regret. At this stage, your unconscious mind calms down and withdraws, allowing your conscious mind to wake up from its slumber. You then start seeing the consequences of your actions, and no matter what you do, you cannot completely repair broken things or mend damaged relationships as if nothing happened.
How to Control Your Anger
It is essential to learn how to manage your anger, and this can only happen through practice. Train yourself during calm moments by imagining situations that make you angry and recalling the emotions they trigger. Then, take deep breaths, hold your breath for a few seconds, and exhale slowly. Repeat this several times. Proper breathing helps the body regain balance, allowing the mind to release tension and feel calm.
Next, think about the best way to handle an anger-inducing situation. Possible strategies include:
- Changing your physical posture
- Distracting yourself by looking at other things around you
- Shifting the conversation away from the upsetting topic
- Talking to yourself about anything unrelated to the situation in a voice only you can hear to divert your focus
- Leaving the location
By practicing these techniques, you can train yourself to stay in control before anger takes control of you.
